Archive for the ‘Hugh-Hefner’ Category

Joe Francis: Let Joe Go

September 19, 2007

 

It’s September 19—do you know where your Joe Francis is?  Not going too wild; he’s been in jail since April, first in Florida, now in Nevada.  As in the old Billy Squier song, ‘everybody wants you,’ Joe.

Has he killed anyone?  Has he robbed or kidnapped anyone? (Hello, OJ!)

OK, he’s obnoxious and egotistical.  He’s a strong persuader–hence the Florida under-age girl lawsuits–and maybe not so detail-oriented—hence the tax evasion charges.

And yes, not only is he a former squeeze of fellow jailbird Paris Hilton (she of “I stepped in AIDS” ignorance fame), but he also offered formerly squeaky clean Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical $500,000 from jail “to join the Girls Gone Wild brand and lifestyle.” 

But five months in jail? How much time has Larry Flynt, Bob Guccione or the Hef himself spent behind bars?  Joe, get some new lawyers.  Or find some new friends–outside the graybar hotel.

With Girls Gone Wild, Joe Francis gave America what it wanted, including the girls , who liked the attention going wild got them.  Now America is giving it to him.

Kevin Bacon: Too Old for Playboy

June 12, 2007

Sorry BabyBoomers, you’re too old for Playboy.  It’s not an indignity limted just to women born in ‘64 and before; the tyranny of youth applies to guys as well.

Actor Kevin Bacon was summarily dumped from a scheduled Playboy  interview because an editor decided he was “too old.” Miffed that he couldn’t join his acting idols Lee Majors and Telly Savalas in its hallowed pages, (he apparently read Playboy for the articles), Bacon wrote this song.

Oh, Playboy will gladly take your money, even if you’re out of its desired demographic.  But then you’ll end up writing letters like this:

Having passed midcentury a few years ago, I believe my tastes may not reflect the average reader’s.  I find WWE diva Ashley Massaro’s lip rings extremely unappealing.  She looks like a vampire.

Ronald Solomon, State College, Pennsylvania

Good thing Playboy’s editorial policies don’t apply to the frolics of its founder.