Monday Morning Media Quarterback

After promoting its new Airbus A380 first-class service, which includes 12 sleeper compartments with the ‘world’s first airline double beds’, Singapore Airlines suddenly realized the implications.

Although their marketing team had spoken of “a class beyond first”, the airline is now apparently concerned that couples (perhaps even those of the same sex) will show no class and make the beast with two backs.

“All we ask of customers, wherever they are on our aircraft, is to observe standards that don’t cause offence to other customers and crew,” the company told Reuters in a statement.  As Singapore Airline has engaged in the long-term promotion of the “Singapore girl“, you can add hypocrisy to this brewing public relations disaster stew.  Just wait until the first ‘violators’ are apprehended!

At $7350 round trip from Singapore to Sydney (that’s per person, and everyone knows it takes two to tango), I’d expect to celebrate–and not just with the included champagne.

A girl of the SEC, a classic in rationalization: “It’s not like it’s Hustler.”

At the Dodger game last night, the right field pavilion was packed with fans cheering the Dodgers and lustily booing Barry Bonds whenever he took the field or got to the plate.  Like many others, we were willing to profit off the a-hole.  We brought our gloves in hopes of the “money ball“, Barry’s 755th.

Gloves and booing were fine.  What apparently wasn’t fine were fans with signs denouncing Barry Bonds.  We watched Dodger ushers usher out a fan who unfurled a paper sign with an asterisk *, saying Bonds’ steroid-fueled feat should forever be questioned in baseball’s record books.  Another fan screamed, “Welcome to America, where you can say what you want.”

I call bullshit on the AP and SI.Com for their typical Los Angeles-bashing; “On Wednesday, Bonds got ridiculed right along with the Laker Girls. He shouldn’t feel so bad. At Dodger Stadium, this is just what they do - and he’s used to it.”

Nonsense.  Dodger fans hate the Giants and despise Bonds, but we lust after our Laker Girls–if the AP can’t recognize a horny chant they should find another line of work.

Sorry BabyBoomers, you’re too old for Playboy.  It’s not an indignity limted just to women born in ‘64 and before; the tyranny of youth applies to guys as well.

Actor Kevin Bacon was summarily dumped from a scheduled Playboy  interview because an editor decided he was “too old.” Miffed that he couldn’t join his acting idols Lee Majors and Telly Savalas in its hallowed pages, (he apparently read Playboy for the articles), Bacon wrote this song.

Oh, Playboy will gladly take your money, even if you’re out of its desired demographic.  But then you’ll end up writing letters like this:

Having passed midcentury a few years ago, I believe my tastes may not reflect the average reader’s.  I find WWE diva Ashley Massaro’s lip rings extremely unappealing.  She looks like a vampire.

Ronald Solomon, State College, Pennsylvania

Good thing Playboy’s editorial policies don’t apply to the frolics of its founder.

Is Presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani finally more popular than Paris Hilton?  Some 70 TV segments mentioned Paris this week, according to CNN’s Reliable Sources,  but 141 mentioned Rudolph Giuliani.

More importantly, which one makes a better Marilyn Monroe? (see photos below.)  Paris, of course, is convinced it’s her. “There’s nobody in the world like me,” she told the UK’s Sunday Times last year. “I think every decade has an iconic blonde — like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana — and right now, I’m that icon.”

Certainly bald Rudy can’t win on the blonde front without a wig.  But judging by Paris’ of ”Happy Birthday Mr. Hefner” channeling , he may well be a better performer.  

Hey Joe–in the words of the immortal Billy Squier, “everybody wants you.”  Unfortunately, “everybody” isn’t just tipsy college girls hoping for a Girls Gone Wild t-shirt, or even Miss Florida and Miss Nevada.  Instead, it’s prosecutors in Florida and Nevada that want Joe–after he’s done with his 35 days of contempt of court in the Sunshine State.

Florida claims there are unresolved criminal complaints from Panama Beach about Girls Gone Wild exploiting underage minors (the same stuff that put Joe in jail on civil contempt charges) while a federal prosecuter wants Joe on tax evasion issues in Nevada.  This just in–the Feds in Nevada get first crack!

When their obligations to various judiciary bodies are over, perhaps Joe and Paris should get back together and claim their rightful crown as America’s Most Hated Couple.

I mean literally.   Hookers from Heidi Fleiss to Deborah Paltrey are an irresistable temptation for crusading journalists looking for exploitation, sanctimony and hypocrisy.

All the other news outlets were jealous over ABC’s apparent ownership of the Deborah Palfrey escort service story, and were quick to attack when the much-teased story fizzled out.  Even a former stripper piled on.

 Howard Kurtz led Sunday’s Reliable Sources with “The Network and the Madam.” Almost breathless, he said “ABC’s Brian Ross names some of the clients of Deborah Jean Palfrey’s Washington escort service—but only a few…Did ABC show restraint, or invade the men’s privacy and indulge in a tawdry tale for sweeps week?”

Kurtz and his guests concluded it was all a tease.  They showed tape of Ross on 20/20 looking disappointed that even with 46 pounds of phone records, “We couldn’t find any members of Congress or White House staffers.  Most of these people just aren’t newsworthy.”

“There was pandering in both the legal sense and the media sense,” said Kurtz guest Mark Feldstein, a professor of journalism at George Washington.  ”News media is there to make a profit.  Sex sells.  The very first newspaper in the U.S. did a sexpose in 1690 and got shut down very soon thereafter.”

Yes, sex sells in the media (just ask Paris) but it’s not all a winking, laughing matter. State Department official Randall Tobias’ career is over, and the scandal may already have help kill someone.  

Welcome USA Today readers! 

Amanda Beard will be appearing nude in a Playboy near you. 

 

Who is Amanda Beard?  She is an 7-time medal winning swimmer and Olympic athlete.

Obviously, Ms. Beard feels the exposure (insert your own joke here) will help her career and bank account. But the nay-sayers are out;  posing sexily is seen as bad for women’s sports.  Does Amanda have  an obligation to promote women’s sports, or is it OK just to promote her (naked) self? 

Sports Illustrated writer Aditi Kinkhabwala takes up the issue here.  Money quote “Sexy pictures don’t make people more likely to read about women’s sports, they don’t make anyone more likely to attend a women’s sporting event, and they sure don’t drive any season-ticket sales.”

But Kinkhabwala’s point is compromised by her platform; when I read her story online the ad next to it was for one of Sport Illustrated’s many Swimsuit edition products.   Also unaddressed was why Beard needs to put her obligations to some amorphous larger group (women, women’s swimming, women’s sports) ahead of her own personal interest.

Are the Los Angeles police and sheriffs targeting Paris Hilton?  She says they are, and although no one in the howling, self-righteous mob wants to hear it, she could be right.

It wouldn’t be the first time a high profile celebrity has been targeted by the police.  Snoop may be but it seems like he can’t leave his house now without being arrested.

With Paris, it’s not racial profiling, but celebrity profiling.

1. Paris Hilton chooses to drive a very high profile car.  Driving on Sunset Boulevard last month, a baby blue Bentley pulled up next to me.  I didn’t even need to look at the blond hair and big sunglasses to confirm it was Paris; it was like her car had a huge “It’s Me!” sign on it.

2. Paris Hilton is a mega-celebrity, and her every minute is watched.  In this, the police are no different than the paparazzi and the public.

3. Much of Paris’s appeal is sexual, particularly to men.   When Paris says “The police pull me over to hit on me,” she’s probably telling the truth.

No, Joe Francis is not a sympathetic figure.  But a conviction and 35 days in jail with a convicted cop killer for a cellmate, for squabbling with a judge? 

It’s tempting to blame it all on Francis’ own hubris.  But this, the bribery charges, and  the crowing Department of Justice press release announcing the tax indictment, makes it pretty clear there’s a government bulls-eye on Joe’s back.

When first they come for the pornographers, to paraphrase Pastor Niemoller, who will they come for next?