Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

Michael Vick: Kill a dog, go to jail?

August 14, 2007

We can only hope, although I’m no fan of Federal prosecutions; often, as in this case, they come close to entrapment, protect the privileged and crush the young, poorly-defended and weak. 

But the dogfighting indictment against the NFL quarterback may have a couple of positive results.  With Vick’s ‘friends’ rolling over like beer kegs heading down Pike’s Peak, Vick is faced with an unappetizing choice: taking a plea bargain or fighting their testimony (including the allegation he used his massive NFL salary to bankroll the dogfighting/killing operation) in open court.

What could be positive about all this?  One, that the indictments, and hopefully, convictions, will dissuade at least some from raising dogs to tear each other to shreds.  Another possibility is that the “don’t snitch” culture will spring a few leaks.  If so-called friends can roll on Mike Vick, that message may very well get down to the gangster level.

Barry Bonds: LA Dodgers Deny Free Speech

August 2, 2007

At the Dodger game last night, the right field pavilion was packed with fans cheering the Dodgers and lustily booing Barry Bonds whenever he took the field or got to the plate.  Like many others, we were willing to profit off the a-hole.  We brought our gloves in hopes of the “money ball“, Barry’s 755th.

Gloves and booing were fine.  What apparently wasn’t fine were fans with signs denouncing Barry Bonds.  We watched Dodger ushers usher out a fan who unfurled a paper sign with an asterisk *, saying Bonds’ steroid-fueled feat should forever be questioned in baseball’s record books.  Another fan screamed, “Welcome to America, where you can say what you want.”

I call bullshit on the AP and SI.Com for their typical Los Angeles-bashing; “On Wednesday, Bonds got ridiculed right along with the Laker Girls. He shouldn’t feel so bad. At Dodger Stadium, this is just what they do - and he’s used to it.”

Nonsense.  Dodger fans hate the Giants and despise Bonds, but we lust after our Laker Girls–if the AP can’t recognize a horny chant they should find another line of work.

Lamest Advertising Claim

May 8, 2007

In the coupon section of the Sunday LA Times, I came upon this lame claim: RAYOVAC: Lasts as Long as Duracell & Energizer

Not exactly “Tastes Great, Less Filling” stuff, but at least it won’t make the corporate lawyers nervous.

But the marketers must have realized that ‘me-too’ advertising isn’t very compelling.  (And batteries are hardly the sexiest consumer electronics category .) So unshaven, over-the-hill quarterback Brett Favre holds up the package, as if that (along with the complex three-part mail-in $3 rebate) would be the clincher.

Los Angeles Riots Remembered, 15 Years On

April 30, 2007

The media loves ‘celebrating’ anniversaries, but there was surprisingly little coverage on the LA Riots this year.  What coverage there was talked about how South Central (now South) Los Angeles remains a tinderbox .  Worse, the Yuppies are coming. 

The Los Angeles Riots began on April 29, 1992, at around 6:45PM.  The not-guilty verdict in the trial of four LAPD officers charged with the beating of Rodney King came down around 3:15PM in Simi Valley, a northern (white) suburb of Los Angeles.  By 4:30PM, crowds were gathering at Florence and Normandie Avenues in South Central  LA.  By 6:45PM, a division of LA Police officers had ‘redeployed’,  never to return,.  The  crowd grew violent, pulling (white) truckdriver Reginald Denny out of his truck and beating him.

In the same way many can remember where they were when President Kennedy was assassinated, I remember where I was April 29: arriving at a Los Angeles Lakers playoff game against the Portland Trailblazers.  Leaving our two year old with a babysitter, we had driven south from West Hollywood down La Cienega Boulevard to the Great Western Forum.  Listening to Chick’s pre-game analysis, we probably missed radio news reports about the just-beginning troubles by minutes.  We also just missed the rioting which had spread to Inglewood between 7 and 9PM. 

The game, which took place long before the cell phone/mobile Web era, was an engrossing thriller.  Few had any idea what was going on outside.  The Lakers, staggered early that season by the HIV-related retirement of Magic Johnson, won in overtime in what would be their only playoff win that year.

Late in the game, a message flashed on the square scoreboard above center court.  ”Inglewood Police Control: Exit to the North and West only.”  The crowd had been psyched–until we stepped out into the darkness and fire.  A friend’s Honda had the windshield smashed.  Our inconspicuous 1987 Chevy Cavalier was unharmed.  All the streetlights were out.  People threw rocks as we drove through deep puddles where firemen had tried to stop the burning.  We raced north on LaBrea, looking into every car as they looked at us, wondering if the people inside were angry enough to kill. 

We made it home and sent the babysitter away.  The next day, I carried my two-year-old on my shoulders to my office at Larry Flynt Publications.  Our child care provider couldn’t make it to work from the devastated area.   A curfew was declared, schools and businesses were closed, and we went home and watched TV.  Our neighborhood was relatively safe, patrolled by the Los Angeles Sheriffs department rather than the embattled LAPD.  Still, opportunistic thieves smashed their way into a Gap store two blocks away.  Much of the rest of the city was burned or looted in what the politically correct called “the uprising.”  The California National Guard stood with their M-16s guarding streetcorners near our house.

On Monday, May 4,  1992, schools and businesses reopened. The toll: more than 50 killed, over four thousand injured, 12,000 arrested, and $1 billion in property damage.

To this day, my wife tells me I should have known better.  I can only hang my head, knowing we had driven into the inferno.  The good news: we are still together, Magic Johnson is still alive and going strong  and so is Los Angeles.

Sexual Perversity and Chicago: Superbowl XLI

February 5, 2007

A couple of ads on Superbowl XLI rang the sexual ambiguity alarm bell.  While Sprint offers a cure for connectile dysfunction, Snickers really hit with two guys making out over a Snickers bar.

Not content with the ‘yuck’ factor achieved, the Snickers makers apparently showed the ad to Colts and Bears players to elicit their homophobic reaction. 

Then there were the hordes of guys stripping down to wash Chevrolet’s unimpressive HHR miniSUV/station wagon combo.

Then, of course, there’s Prince.

Will only GoDaddy keep the Internet safe for T&A?